Are you listening?

Do you hear what others say or do you listen to what they say? To communicate effectively requires in part that you are an active listener. Active listening means you are able to hear what another person says and at the same time hold judgment so that you can derive meaning from the other person’s point of view. 

To listen actively means you must get off your communication channel and focus on the person or persons with whom you are communicating. Once you have sent a message, it’s important that you focus on the receiver. You want the receiver’s understanding of your intent and message to match yours.  

How can you be sure that you are listening actively to ensure that you and the receiver have a mutual understanding of the message? Here are 4 tips.

·          
      Let  the receiver share his/her thoughts without interruption.  If you interrupt the receiver before he/or she can let you know what they are thinking, your signals may cross. Crossed signals may result in the receiver shutting down and feeling you are not interested in his/her thoughts. The receiver may also dig in to his or her opinion, perception, ideas resulting in conflict.

·         Avoid multi-tasking when the receiver of your message is responding. It is easy to misunderstand a message when you are not 100% focused. In fact, you might miss something that results in you thinking the receiver and you are on the same page when you are not and vice versa.

·         Don’t plan your response while the receiver is speaking. When you begin anticipating what the receiver is going to say and start planning how you are going to respond to it at the same time the receiver is speaking you are not focused on understanding the receiver. Your actions indicate that you are more focused on making sure that the receiver focuses on you and your message.

·         Stay focused on the meaning and not the words. Words have different meaning depending upon our culture, preferences, and experience. Be careful not to let your meaning of a word  influence your interpretation of the message.

Listening requires a genuine interest in another’s point of view.  If it’s all about you, then you are not listening!

Sharing Your Story Helps You and Others to Be their B.E.S.T.

Make sure you share your story. Many individuals and organizations don't take the time to share their story. The most common reasons shared are: "I don't have the time." "I don't know how." " I don't want to be perceived as arrogant." "I'm too busy doing the work." "My work will speak for me."  

You and others benefit when you share your story. You gain insights and information from others that can help you "be your b.e.s.t." AND your story also helps others to be their b.e.s.t. There is also the multiplier effect. Someone you share with shares  your story with someone else. So your story helps individuals whom you do not know. Many become their b.e.s.t.

Embrace these 5 actions and "be your B.E.S.T."

#1 Make it a point to share
#2 Take time to share
#3 Learn from sharing
#4 Improve from sharing
#5 Celebrate sharing

Read more in Chapter 6, "Be Your B.E.S.T." by Dr. Patricia Larkins Hicks, 2010, Xlibris Corporation. Orders at www.OMGgetsResults.com   Also available for Kindles and Nooks online at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Stay focused!

No matter how loud the noise don't be distracted- stay focused and stay the course. Do you have the ability to keep your mind centered? That ability is concentration and is essential if you are to "be your b.e.s.t."

Some people are unable to complete tasks, provide a quality work product, or be excellent because they are unable to maintain concentration on the task at hand, product they are producing, quality of their work. Wavering and wandering leads to confusion, doubt, mistakes, chaos.

How do you maintain concentration? It starts with attention. You must focus first. Everything rests first on being attentive. Today, you must learn to attend in the midst of noise. Once you have directed your attention to a specific task, then you are able to begin to reflect and deliberate. You block out everything, wrap your thoughts around the task at hand, let go and relax. You guide your thoughts to a decisive end. You can easily put them down and pick them up.

Concentration requires that you are alert, decisive, deliberate and have energy. What are your strategies to ensure you do what is necessary to stay focused?

Did you communicate?

Communication is sharing of information that results in mutual understanding. How many times have you thought that because you sent an email or text, mailed a letter, or posted something on your web site that you have communicated? The fact of the matter is that you only sent a message. And if the receiver acknowledged receipt that's still not enough. You want their feedback. You need to know if the receiver's understanding of the message was the same as yours.

Recently, a client posted some survey results and assumed that communication had taken place. Some staff saw the results and interpreted them differently from leadership. Other staff had not viewed the web site and didn't know the results were posted. Needless to say, the client now had to spend time with both groups; clarifying the message with one group, and making the other group aware of the message.

When you don't ensure mutual understanding, there is the likelihood of misunderstanding, confusion, and misdirection which can lead you to spending more time on the message than planned or necessary. 

Make sure when you send a message, you verify that it is received and understood.You can do this by seeking clarification and asking others to paraphrase. What strategies have you employed to ensure you have communicated?

Know the Difference

"What's the difference?" In a time of imitation, we need to distinguish what is "real." Given so much dissension, we must determine what is "right." With the constant flow of information, we must identify what is "relevant." If you can't be a difference or make a difference, you can know the difference! 

Knowing the difference means asking the right questions, verifying that information is accurate, complete, and comprehensive, testing assumptions, and making sure your source is credible. What are your BEST practices for ensuring you know the difference?

Who's Your B.E.S.T. Leader?

B.E.ST. Leaders get optimal results. My B.E.S.T. Leader is the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  Dr. King was able to identify his mission. If you are going to lead others you must be clear about your purpose. Understanding "why" influences your decisions and choices. Dr. King was then able to develop and articulate his message effectively to others. Getting others to follow requires getting them on the same page, sharing your mission, and committed to take action. You've got to communicate effectively.  Dr. King was able to establish movement.  You can't go it alone. Achieving your mission requires others. People joined in following Dr. King and were willing do what ever was necessary to achieve their shared mission- losing a job, being in prison, working late into the night. Dr. Martin Luther King is my B.E.S.T. Leader because his Mission-Message-Movement ignited transformational change that has led to opportunity for all!

It's Time to Change Channels

Are you tuned in to the WIIFM channel? What's in it for me? It looks like most Americans are viewing this channel. As such, ideology and partianship trump what's best for our country. Self-interests trump what is best for our communities and organizations. In fact competence and experience aren't considered premium qualities anymore. It appears our selfish interests are also fostering more polarized places. Additionally, if you are not like me or support my interest, then something is wrong with you. This lack of appreciation for differences stifles innovation and creativity and results in some people feeling they don't measure up. If we are to "be our B.E.S.T." the time is now for us all to switch channels. Get off the WIIFM channel and start focusing on what's B.E.S.T. for US!

It takes WILL to get results!

Recently, I facilitated a planning session with a leadership team. After several days of thinking beyond the moment- creating focus and innovative solutions, I raised two critical questions "What are you going to do to ensure that you implement the plan?"  "How will you make sure that you continue to have resolve regardless of the barriers?" Team members started identifying actions that they could put in place to track and monitor their performance. I then asked them to pause and think about their personal "will" to see the plan implemented. After giving each person time to reflect, I then asked each to respond to the question- "Do you personally have the will to implement the plan?"
Regardless of your plan, knowledge and/or skills, it is your "will" that drives results.  What about you? Do you have the "will" to be your B.E.S.T.?